Thank you for this brilliant article. Being diagnosed with ADHD in my late fifties, I know a lot of the symptoms and struggles you're mentioning. I've overworked myself for decades, trying to make it as a musician and earning money at the same time, leading to 60hs+ weeks throughout my whole life. And even when seeking therapy, I tried to be a premium client, perfectionism ruining even that. Funny thing is, whenever I had the chance of real positive change, my body would sabotage my efforts through illness, fatigue or injuries. Right now, I'm recovering from a bike accident, a cold and exhaustion, after making one more attempt to finally get my record, finished 2 years ago, published. For a while now, I thought this had to do with my concept of self-worth, not believing I deserve work and live a good life on my own terms.
The concept of certain positive, proactive deeds feeling unsafe is a new approach I will look into, so thank you.
I started using the deep magenta Aura Soma pomander some days ago and I already feel a bit clearer about things, my therapist gave me the homework to not work so hard and I find shelter and guidance in spirituality. I will save this article and read again soon, as it gives me hope, here might be the blind spot I was searching for.
Thank you again.
About lack of exercise: Nope. I walk about 15000 steps a day, I do calisthenics, yoga and capoeira and a whole lot of NEPA along the way.