Thank you so much for your response and advice. I tried this kind of behavioral therapy about 20 years ago, when I started talking to people in a more flirty way on an every day basis. Though it didn't lead to more than friendly encounters, it gave me a more positive view on other people, so I keep doing it. Actually, it makes me feel so good, it became part of my personality. I tried several dating apps in the last years, with only a few, mostly negative experiences, like being told I was too old and too ugly. At the core of my troubles there is still some unresolved trauma, that's why I'm looking for an EMDR therapist in my area. What struck me about the reading was that I recently let go of the notion I HAD to do something and let the universe do her part. So my initial response was panicking about not doing enough, accompanied by shame and guilt, because that's the way I'm still programmed. The reading, and most of all your kind response, seems to be a sign the universe indeed does her part. What will be next I don't know, but I try to remain open, breathe deeply into my discomfort about the topic and the related anxiety and take baby steps, following my intuition when the other voices remain silent for a bit. Thank you again, for your response, for your work and for giving me a little push in the right direction.