The sweetness of facing a bitter truth

Being unlucky in love sucks

Concerning romantic relationships, I know three different conditions: Having an unrequited crush, being in a toxic relationship or being broken up with.

In a few weeks, I celebrate 10 years of being single. 10 years of involuntary celibacy.

It sucks.

It hurts.

It’s sad.

It’s not fair.

When I heard the term “incel” for the first time, I thought, yeah, that’s me. (It’s actually not). I never knew how and why I was or wasn’t in a relationship, being it brief or long-term. I never had the impression that I had a say in that.

Women I fell in love with never had an erotic or romantic interest in me.

Those who had took me. For granted, that is. Despite not being overly attracted to them, I tried my best to make those relationships work. Until the abuse was too much to bear. 9 years, 5 years, 4 years. Seems like I slowly learned. At least I wisened up to the point where I don’t get into a relationship just because the woman is interested. Makes me understand and appreciate the women who are not.

Between those long relationships some women tried me out for a few weeks, only to decide I wasn’t what they were looking for. Yeah, I’m special. I might even be…